It wouldn’t be a gay travel blog if I did not address this question. During the first year of covid Matt and I thought about using our Marriott points to travel to the Maldives. The Maldives are islands in the Indian Ocean that offer the overwater bungalow experience. Because they are so hard to get to (and beautiful) celebrities and the world elite have turned them into one of the most premier travel destinations. We were eyeing the W Maldives as it is known to be a gay friendly hotel in a country where homosexuality is technically illegal….

After several days of back and forth we decided against it. While it is nice that some of the individual hotels are accommodating, why are we spending our money in a country that could potentially arrest us for who we are? Couldn’t we just go to Thailand or Bora Bora for a similar experience? More on Thailand maybe next year…

The problem is as I write this post, I also am well-aware I live in one of the most politically unfriendly states in the United States (not for long, hello Maine), how can I justify spending money in half the United States which would outlaw sodomy if they had their chance, but not travel to ‘unfriendly countries.’

Before I give my my rational let me break down my range of destinations from friendly to outright hostile for gay travelers.

Category 1: Gays Gays Nothing But Gays Come One Come All Especially If Gay (examples: Spain, Portugal, France, Canada)

Countries in this category not only have laws in their books protecting the LGBTQIA+ population but openly embrace it in all corners of the country outside a few outliers. Matt and I would be comfortable holding hands virtually anywhere in these destinations.

Category 2: Gays please cut my hair, Stay in the Cities, and Get Married (or everything but) If You Want (examples, Half of USA, Israel, Australia, Argentina, Costa Rica, Germany, Italy, Brazil, South Africa)

These countries provide most legal rights to gays, but once you leave liberal areas it can get a little dicey. I don’t think rural Mississippi wants Matt and I making out in public, but technically the law is on our side. Generally the urban areas are where it is most safe and protected to be openly gay and proud.

Category 3: Gays can exist with some protections (Examples Thailand, Japan, Mexico, Half the USA)

These countries legalized homosexuality and provide other rights, but a decent chunk of the population and government are not friendly, but generally not violent either. No one is going to be arrested for being gay but not everyone is thrilled about it either.

Category 4 Gays just be quiet about it and hide in your few bars but generally (but sometimes) you won’t be arrested or attacked by the authorities(Examples: Hungary, Poland, China, Turkey, India)

Matt and I can travel to these countries and not have to worry about prison as we are not usually ones to be affectionate in public, but we are generally not welcomed.

Category 5: Being Gay is criminalized, but not generally enforced if you’re a tourist and keep it in the bedroom (Examples: Dubai, Maldives, Qatar, Egypt)

If we limit our gayness at the hotel we should be fine but people can and do go to jail for being gay in a category 5. There are plenty of gay people in Dubai I am well aware, but it is still illegal, and arrests do happen

Category 6 Being Gay is outlawed and highly enforced (Examples: Russia, most of Africa, much of the Middle East that isn’t Israel or Lebanon or a category 5 above)

These countries will arrest, imprison and potentially execute you if you are caught being gay or performing sodomy.

Verdict

I am aware everything is a little more complex than outlined above, but this gives us some perspective. It is also important to note that the politics of a country does not reflect all views either. We have happily traveled to countries in categories 1-3. The reality is for vacation purposes that is not family related most of us regardless of sexual orientation would not travel to category 6 countries for other reasons besides gay rights. Women and other minorities do not do much better in most of them. That leaves us with category 4 and 5.

Now let’s circle back to why we canceled the Maldives trip as that was how we decided on our personal philosophy on where we should and shouldn’t spend our money. The reality is I hope to travel to Dubai and Egypt one day because my goal on both of those destinations would be to experience a rich culture and history in unique settings that cannot be replicated. But what does an Island Resort in the Indian Ocean do for me that one in the South Pacific that likes the gays doesn’t? I cannot see the pyramids anywhere else besides Egypt. I cannot experience Arabic food and culture anywhere safer than Dubai. But I can get good eastern European food in Prague instead of Budapest where gays have more rights and the government is not authoritarian, catch my drift?

Where you travel and spend your money is a personal decision. No country is perfect (Portugal is pretty close) so it comes down to your values. Our preference is to prioritize travel and spending in category 1-3 countries. We are open to traveling to countries in 4 and maybe 5 if there is a unique experience to be had without an obvious alternative where there is also limited risk. Countries in Category 6 (and Russia particularly) can screw off 😊.

I am curious on this one, do my readers (mom) have differing opinions?

Bon voyage,

Andrew